I was a bully once

Around the age of 6, I was a bully. There was a burger king by my house that had a play structure with a huge yellow slide. I was slightly chubby and constantly had bits of chocolate on my face, not to mention that I wore my hair in a bullet style (what would result if the mullet and the bull cut decided to procreate). All of these factors combined forced me into bullydom-chubby kids have a predisposition to be a little meaner than the rest to invoke some fear in case the other kids have any urge to make fun of them. On this particular day at burger king I decided that I wanted to climb up the big yellow slide starting at the bottom. My only obstacle was a little (only compared to me, not in age) goldilocks looking girl that was going down the slide on repeat. I decided that the only way to remove her from the picture was to approach her and make threats on her life: "If you go down that slide right now, you'll be dead meat."

Her lip quivered, she climbed down from her perch atop the play structure and disappeared for a short while. Feeling rightfully victorious and accomplished, I began my quest to climb up the slide.

Within minutes, as my nubby fingers clung to the sides of the slide propelling me upward, the little girl returned...dad in tow. I scrambled unsuccessfully to reach the top-out of harms way-watching them approach out of the corner of my eyes. In my haste, I lost my footing and slid back down. The man towered above me-I swear he had to have been at least 9 feet tall-and said "Listen, this playstructure is for everyone. If you tell my daughter she'll be dead meat one more time, I will speak with the managers to ban you from the slide." That was the day I almost 86ed from the slide...and the day I stopped being a bully.