Chocolate Milk

Yesterday my dad told me that there was chocolate milk in the fridge. Naturally, I was stoked because I love the stuff. Well I got to the fridge with a glass and was ready to pour, when my little sister told me that my dad had created the "chocolate milk" by pouring Hershey's chocolate syrup into the milk carton and shaking it. Huge letdown. Anyone who is a connoisseur of chocolate milk knows that this is not the same thing. My dad told my sister and I that we were chocolate milk snobs and proceeded to sing a song about it on his guitar, cleverly inserting lyrics into popular Dylan songs to make fun of us. I don't care, I've had my fair share of chocolate milk, and yes, I am aware that there aren't chocolate cows somewhere and that all chocolate milk is created with some sort of mixing process, but the kind that comes mixed is much better than any you can mix at home. And Wilcox chocolate milk is the best.

This is a funny list a friend of mine had on her facebook wall entitled "9 Things I hate"

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid £6 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks: "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

In the words of Larry David...pretty good.

T9 word is racist

One time last year I was writing my friend a text message saying something along the lines of "will you make me a late plate" (I lived in a sorority and if you weren't going to be there for dinner, you could have a late plate prepared for you). So, I was writing this text message and when I typed plate into my phone, the word slave came up as the first option. This means that whoever programs T9 word thinks that slave is more prominently used in the English language than plate. I don't really know what to think about this. Kinda shocked.