MC is Hammered

.poetry.

2010-01-28T05:14:00.000-08:00

Si Tu Me Olvidas
Pablo Neruda

Quiero que sepas
una cosa.

Tú sabes cómo es esto:
si miro
la luna de cristal, la rama roja
del lento otoño en mi ventana,
si toco
junto al fuego
la impalpable ceniza
o el arrugado cuerpo de la leña,
todo me lleva a ti,
como si todo lo que existe:
aromas, luz, metales,
fueran pequeños barcos que navegan
hacia las islas tuyas que me aguardan.

Ahora bien,
si poco a poco dejas de quererme
dejaré de quererte poco a poco.

Si de pronto
me olvidas
no me busques,
que ya te habré olvidado.

Si consideras largo y loco
el viento de banderas
que pasa por mi vida
y te decides
a dejarme a la orilla
del corazón en que tengo raíces,
piensa
que en esa día,
a esa hora
levantaré los brazos
y saldrán mis raíces
a buscar otra tierra.

Pero
si cada día,
cada hora,
sientes que a mí estás destinada
con dulzura implacable,
si cada día sube
una flor a tus labios a buscarme,
ay amor mío, ay mía,
en mí todo ese fuego se repite,
en mí nada se apaga ni se olvida,
mi amor se nutre de tu amor, amada,
y mientras vivas estará en tus brazos
sin salir de los míos.

I was a bully once

2009-11-23T09:18:00.000-08:00

Around the age of 6, I was a bully. There was a burger king by my house that had a play structure with a huge yellow slide. I was slightly chubby and constantly had bits of chocolate on my face, not to mention that I wore my hair in a bullet style (what would result if the mullet and the bull cut decided to procreate). All of these factors combined forced me into bullydom-chubby kids have a predisposition to be a little meaner than the rest to invoke some fear in case the other kids have any urge to make fun of them. On this particular day at burger king I decided that I wanted to climb up the big yellow slide starting at the bottom. My only obstacle was a little (only compared to me, not in age) goldilocks looking girl that was going down the slide on repeat. I decided that the only way to remove her from the picture was to approach her and make threats on her life: "If you go down that slide right now, you'll be dead meat."

Her lip quivered, she climbed down from her perch atop the play structure and disappeared for a short while. Feeling rightfully victorious and accomplished, I began my quest to climb up the slide.

Within minutes, as my nubby fingers clung to the sides of the slide propelling me upward, the little girl returned...dad in tow. I scrambled unsuccessfully to reach the top-out of harms way-watching them approach out of the corner of my eyes. In my haste, I lost my footing and slid back down. The man towered above me-I swear he had to have been at least 9 feet tall-and said "Listen, this playstructure is for everyone. If you tell my daughter she'll be dead meat one more time, I will speak with the managers to ban you from the slide." That was the day I almost 86ed from the slide...and the day I stopped being a bully.

Pete Yorn and Scarlett Johansson

2009-09-16T10:06:00.000-07:00

love this collaboration

Brighten Up Your Day

2009-08-12T17:53:00.000-07:00

Reulf from Charlesque on Vimeo.

Came across this on twitter. It was made by a student in Paris and is a really cool idea. Makes me want to learn animation.

No Use Crying Over Spilled Milk...Shake?

2009-08-09T18:22:00.000-07:00

Today I was at the Washington Square Mall to take my computer into the Apple Store because I accidentally threw my itunes into the trash the other day and emptied the trash...smooth move, I know. Anyways, I was very focused on the store and neglected to look at the ground in front of my feet, which caused me to miss the blackberry (or some berry of that nature) milkshake that had been spilled on the floor in front of me. The next thing I know, I am flailing through the air, legs flying up like a cartoon character slipping on a banana peel, the sound effects were something like whoa whoa whoa whoa, not to attract attention or anything. It is Sunday today, a bit of a busy mall day. Everyone turned and looked at me, sprawled on the floor, covered in shake, computer on my side. I got up slowly, trying to act casual about it, but it turned out a bit more like Michael Cera in Superbad when he walked past Becca and said BYEEEEEEE. It was a Seventeen Magazine most embarrassing moment.

Have been away...

2009-08-09T18:21:00.000-07:00

link for around the world trip.

backpackingparadise.blogspot.com

Because I have so many regular blog readers...

a little tip tap toe action

2009-08-06T05:55:00.000-07:00

the fastest feet in town. the strobe might cause one to believe otherwise...but really, they are moving so fast.

compliments of nikki.

Sad excuse for television

2008-07-16T16:53:00.000-07:00

This is the third Rolling Stone cover in the last few years that has made me cringe...not only cringe, but become really angry. I am not one to get angry often, it takes a lot to push me over the edge, but this is ridiculous. The first was when Jessica Alba was on the cover, followed by a young Zac Efron with his hand awkwardly inside of his wet shirt, revealing his barely legal six pack. These covers make me angry because Rolling Stone is a music magazine, and should thus have musicians on the cover, and it doesn't usually follow trends, but this cover and story are an all time low for the mag. As much as LC and her gang of over privileged, undereducated, self-indulgent minions contribute to society and give us a realistic idea of how difficult life must be for a twenty-something in Hollywood these days, they have nothing to do with music (except for Audrina's parlay into the musical industry).

Although I was once at the mall coincidentally when Stephen Colletti and Kristin Cavallari were visiting to sign autographs, and girls were crying in a manner similar to when the Beatles made their first appearance in the US, it in no way puts these "reality" tv stars on any level similar to a musician. That the Hills is now onto its 2nd or 3rd season really speaks to the intelligence and creativity of Gen Y. It is sometimes embarrassing to be a part of this voyeristic generation. The Hills is the new Saved by the Bell or Boy Meets World, where we are invited to watch a group of good-looking teens grow up on screen, and watch as they pass through different stages of their lives. Only, we didn't get to see "The Hills College Years" and the characters don't have a Mr. Feeney or Belding who somehow travels with them through the hard times in life to give them gems of wisdom--which might have been a good idea for them. Times are so hard when LC assumes that she and Stephen Colletti might start dating again, and sadly listens to him tell her that he is glad that they can accept that they are just friends.

Granted I know way too much to say that I am not mildly entertained by this sad excuse for a television show, but there isn't much else on TV these days. This show is a joke and the characters will do nearly anything for a buck. Hopefully by the time I have children, reality TV will be pushed by the wayside and they can appreciate a new version of Bayside.

Slow and steady wins the race?

2008-07-15T18:21:00.000-07:00

I just started running after a long sabbatical. I guess that sounds like I ran regularly at one point. I have never really run as a hobby, but played sports. It just sounds better to say "I started running again" than to say "for the first time since high school I am attempting to partake in physical activity on a regular basis." It's not easy. I live on a hill, so when I start my run, I think "oh man, I am in way better shape than I thought I'd be." But the minute the ground flattens out, it turns from a decently paced run into a trudge. And for some reason, I think everyone passing by is judging me. So I stay on side streets unless it is necessary to run on a busy road...at which point, I speed up significantly, eagerly awaiting the next side street that I can turn at so I can continue breathing like a normal person. I don't know why I would assume anyone would care that I am running along at a pace that could probably be passed by speed walkers. I reason with myself and think "they are probably assuming I'm on the end of my run, so this pace is expected." And then I look down at my iRUN and realize that I have only been running for about five minutes and breathing has become a chore. I push on through the 5k at the pace of a senior citizen and get to my house and collapse. Tomorrow it'll be a little easier...hopefully.

Jack.

2008-06-25T22:51:00.000-07:00

My family got a new golden retriever puppy named Jack. He is adorable, but mostly right before he goes to bed and right after he wakes up. In between, he bites everything he can get his teeth on and pees and poops everywhere. Naturally, this is to be expected of a puppy, but I have cuts all over my hands and arms and all I want to do is hold him, not yell at him for biting me. I am a bad animal trainer because he is too cute to scold so I talk to him like he is a person and will understand me. He doesn't, and usually thinks I'm wanting him to continue "playing with me." His face goes from an angelic adorable face worthy of being a puppy model to a scene from animal planet of a lion eating it's pray, and he snaps his teeth onto my hands, or legs, or arms, or face. Anything. For the time being, I'll say he's teething to justify his satanic transformation, but hopefully this doesn't keep up for too long. I don't think my hands and skin can handle the torment.

Hors d'ouvres passing

2008-06-20T17:40:00.000-07:00

I work as a caterer at the Nike Tiger Woods Center. Every time we have a fancy event that requires a plated dinner, there are usually hors d'ouvres involved. For some reason, when we receive our assignments for these events, I am always a passer. Although there is something formal and eloquent about having food passed at events--and people are usually hungry--I think it is silly. Not only does it put an unnecessary amount of pressure on my wrist, it causes the party attendees to have to make funny jokes with me to make themselves less embarrassed for taking their sixth beef satay. At every formal/reception event I've ever been to I prefer my favorite food to be stationed at one place and unmonitored, so I don't have to feel embarrassed for eating a meal's worth of appetizers.

Spike Jonze Ikea

2008-05-03T11:11:00.001-07:00

This ad is hilarious. The first time I watched it, I was expecting some sort of brave little toaster sort of scene to happen. And I was then pleasantly surprised by the crazy old guy in the rain. Love this.

juNO!

2008-05-03T11:09:00.000-07:00

I watched Juno the entire way through for the first time the other night. My first attempt at viewing this supposed cinematic snack was when it was in the theaters over winter break. I went with my friend and was really stoked to see it because Michael Cera, aka George Michael from Arrested Development was in it and because it received rave reviews from every publication I read about it. My friend and I walked out after 25 minutes. It was my first time ever walking out of a movie in the movie theater. So my second time watching it I cringed past the "clever" honest to blogs napolean dynamite-esque "Geez, Banana! Shut your freakin' gob!" waiting for it to get better. It didn't really. There were funny parts, but all in all it seemed like it was trying too hard.

Chocolate Milk

2008-04-29T00:46:00.000-07:00

Yesterday my dad told me that there was chocolate milk in the fridge. Naturally, I was stoked because I love the stuff. Well I got to the fridge with a glass and was ready to pour, when my little sister told me that my dad had created the "chocolate milk" by pouring Hershey's chocolate syrup into the milk carton and shaking it. Huge letdown. Anyone who is a connoisseur of chocolate milk knows that this is not the same thing. My dad told my sister and I that we were chocolate milk snobs and proceeded to sing a song about it on his guitar, cleverly inserting lyrics into popular Dylan songs to make fun of us. I don't care, I've had my fair share of chocolate milk, and yes, I am aware that there aren't chocolate cows somewhere and that all chocolate milk is created with some sort of mixing process, but the kind that comes mixed is much better than any you can mix at home. And Wilcox chocolate milk is the best.

This is a funny list a friend of mine had on her facebook wall entitled "9 Things I hate"

2008-04-14T16:09:00.001-07:00

1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time.... I know where my watch is pal, where the **** is yours? Do I point at my crotch when I ask where the toilet is?

2. People who are willing to get off their ass to search the entire room for the tv remote because they refuse to walk to the tv and change the channel manually.

3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is a cake if you can't eat it?

4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the fuck would you keep looking after you've found it? Do people do this? Who and where are they? Gonna Kick their ass!

5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?". No Loser, I paid £6 to come to the cinema and stare at the fucking floor.

6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

7. When something is 'new and improved!'. Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it.

8. When people say "life is short". What the fuck? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever fucking does!! What can you do that's longer?

9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks: "Has the bus come yet?". If the bus came would I be standing here, dumass?

In the words of Larry David...pretty good.

T9 word is racist

2008-04-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

One time last year I was writing my friend a text message saying something along the lines of "will you make me a late plate" (I lived in a sorority and if you weren't going to be there for dinner, you could have a late plate prepared for you). So, I was writing this text message and when I typed plate into my phone, the word slave came up as the first option. This means that whoever programs T9 word thinks that slave is more prominently used in the English language than plate. I don't really know what to think about this. Kinda shocked.